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Monday, August 26, 2013

Oh, what a night!

You might think that a place designed to restore, if not promote, health would set the stage for a reasonable night's sleep. If so, you'd be wrong. Very wrong.

Towards 10:30 last night, they brought me this little pill, a capsule actually, the thing that is supposed to make me well. The nurse turned out the lights, left on the night light, and wished me a good night. The bed continued to growl, bump, grind, inflate, and rotate. The chimes and beepers outside continued to chime and beep. The announcements rolled in. People walked by chatting. I turned the lights back on.

At 1 or so, the ECG dude appears, announces his chore, and then expresses surprise that I’m awake. When he left, the nurse came in and unplugged the bed, though she told me she would have to plug it back in later in the morning. Probably, they have rules about running the beds and precluding sleep to drum up business. I still don't get how I’m a bed sore risk, especially since I’m not much in the damned thing.

At 3 or so, it's time for blood pressure, oxygen saturation, and temperature. Surprise. Surprise. The tech expected to find me asleep. I’m awake. Imagine that. And guess what? My blood pressure is elevated. Now, what in the world is that about? Maybe it had something to do with the advertisements for the (straight) sex telephone lines that appeared on Comedy Central about that time.

Then 4 or so, it's time to bleed. Again. Three vials. Third poke. Same arm. Same vein. Slightly different hole. The tech is matter of fact. I’m not sure I spoke. She left, and I grabbed a bite from the food I brought.

As best I can tell, they'll expect to do this for the next two nights and three days. I wonder if these people ever get to be patients here? I can only wish.

PS: Another tech came in at 6 for BP, O2, and temp. I finally lost it as she left the room, feeling much like Mark Twain that Sunday morning when he couldn't find a shirt with all it's buttons.

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