About me

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Happy birthday to Grandma Lou Lou

Shannon placed this requirement on me yesterday. I serve to live. Nonetheless, I suspect Grandma will straighten out ol' Shanpie all too soon. It has something to do with tequila, I believe.

Making chilli out of season

I know, I know, but it's been a hard last three weeks here, and I need some comfort food. So turn down the AC and get with the program.

Splash olive oil into the iron pot, turn up the heat,

and find the burger.

Notice the lack of red tag. Not to worry. My MVP card carried a red e-tag from the day before's text message. Think 20% off.

Put the burger in the pot, and break it up for browning.

Now find the maters and beans.

Just like Mama used to open.

At some point, the burger is brown.

And it's time to add the maters and beans.

Stir it well. Remember to rinse the cans into the pot.

Let it simmer a few days, and you'r ready to eat. Salt, pepper, and Texas Pete to taste.

Location:Westgrove St,Raleigh,United States

There might be a hint here

On today's walk, I checked-in at the Oak Grove Community Cemetery. Again.

Wouldn't you know it? I made mayor.

I just became the mayor of Oak Grove Community Cemetery on @foursquare! http://4sq.com/9lm5GY
from Raleigh, NC
foursquare • 5/29/10 1:42 PM

Well, I was expecting that. What I was not expecting was today's mail.

Funeral insurance. Could they have sent some white lilies to go with the invitation?

Location:Westgrove St,Raleigh,United States

Why am I empty?

Oh dear

Despite the advertisments of longevity, we have a death in the family.

I dispose it's off to the landfill for this beast. Raleigh wants me to separate the recycling, which would call for about a dozen large cans in my microscopic kitchen.

Guilford had this mess all figured out.

So I reach for the replacement.

Another oh dear. I suppose it'd be alright. I just prefer the 100 watt equivalent bulbs in the kitchen where I wield various lethal weapons during food prep.

Gotta add bulbs to the neverending list of things I need.

Until then, hoards of undead are congregating near the stove.

Location:Westgrove St,Raleigh,United States

My daddy's nanner sammich

Here on this long weekend with back-to-back war documentaries on the History Channel, I find myself remembering one of the soldiers who fought at the Bulge.

My father, the man whose DNA and, likely, emotional baggage, I continue to carry.

I like to think that I've gotten over the most of that, just as somehow I survived being reared a Free Will Baptist.

A jury might rule otherwise.

With this in mind, I wanted to share his manner of making a bannanna sandwich.

Find a nanner

Peel it and put it on a plate

Do not mock the naked nanner. It will soon be a part of you.

Smoosh the nanner with a fork.

Find the mayonaise.

Use the fork to put a blob of mayo on the smooshed nanner.

Mix it all together.

Now find the bread

Put four slices on the plate.

Put smooshed nanner and mayo on two slices.

My daddy stopped here. Closed the sammiches. And chowed down with a glass of sweet tea.

As you know, I cannot leave well enough alone.

Find the rolled oats.

Sprinkle oats on the nanner smoosh.

Now, you can eat.

I'll have a beer instead of sweet tea.

BTW, Daddy ate slimy oatmeal every morning of his life. That's likely one reason that I rarely touch the mess. Besides, the leftovers always gave the cats the squirts.

Location:Westgrove St,Raleigh,United States

Supper for breakfast

I bought this yesterday afternoon to eat for last night's supper, but my walk lasted longer than I anticipated. Watermelon does not make a prudent late night snack.

A seedless watermelon.

Grown in the USA? That surprised me. I sorta like knowing the food is from a foreign, perhaps exotic, land. The food is probably as close as I'll ever come to knowing such places. In the eating, and sometimes the drinking, the place becomes a part of me.

Here comes the knife.

And it does it's duty.

The second half will need to wait.

So I find a towel for my lap, sit on the couch, and slice further while a WW II documentary drones in the background.

Yes, Cartesian coordinates apply to watermelon eating. Otherwise, I might become lost.

Out comes the first chunk.

Followed by many more.

I start in the middle out of habit. A seeded watermelon does not have seeds in the middle.

For an early season watermelon, this sample was sufficient.

Yes, I've had better, but Wilson is dead, and we'll never know watermelons like his again.

Of course, even at sufficient, I still ate the second half.

There's gonna be a penalty for that.

Location:Westgrove St,Raleigh,United States

Friday, May 28, 2010

A final marker

On this afternoon's jaunt, I stopped by an old cemetery that I hadn't visited in almost three years. Yes, I'm wierd that way.

The graves here are all oriented as one would expect in the culture. However, the writing on the stones sometimes faces west, othertimes east.

While here, I found an old marker, a marker far different from the others.

It's a rock, just a rock, with rough but obvious carvings on it. I have yet to be able to read them. Perhaps a rubbing would help.

None the less, it's obvious that the marker is from a time when people had very little more than what the earth had sprinkled about them, and some loving, perhaps greiving, soul stopped long enough to make a marker for someone, a marker that I now sit beside and reflect upon.

I wonder if someone one day might do as much for me.

Upon standing, I tipped my head over and around. The first three letters appear to be "chi." I doubt the Greek letter was intended, leaving me a notch sadder some two hundred years later.

And at that point, a red fox trotted diagonally across the field of graves, pausing to assess the threat I presented, then trotting on, tongue dangling in the heat, reminding me of the growing thirst I've been ignoring for quite some time.

Location:Beryl Rd,Raleigh,United States

How to make leftover TacoBell for lunch

Find the remnants of the Grandé Meal you bought the other day, the one with ten bean burritos.

Fetch out two burritos.

And let them warm a few minutes.

Then unwrap

Try not to blush over the nekkid burritos

And put them in the microwave on high for 45 seconds.

Listen to then scream.

Flip them over and repeat the buzz.

Meanwhile, find the milk and pour a glass.

Let the heat distribute through the burritos while you check-in on all forms of social media.

And then chow down.

Location:Westgrove St,Raleigh,United States

The proper peanut butter sammich for the formal occassion

I suspect there's a paucity of proper technique and a preponderance of misconceptions regarding the correct way to prepare a peanut butter sammich for the formal occassion.

What you are about to see is the procedure for preparing the formal and proper peanut butter sammich. Study closely. You'll need this for the test.

Find the bread

And fetch two slices

Now find the PB

And the mayo

Apply a scoop of each to the bread

The tool of choice is the fork.

Now find a nanner

And the oatmeal

The nanner goes on the PB, and the oatmeal goes on the mayo.

Pat the oatmeal into the mayo, and then close the sammich.

You may eat the left over piece of nanner.

Enjoy your breakfast with a tall glass of cold skim milk.

Be sure your cardiologist knows how well you are eating.

There you go. Teach this to your children.

Location:Westgrove St,Raleigh,United States