About me

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Shutting down airplane conversation

Most of the people I know who fly a lot for work have very effective ways of shutting down unwanted conversations from the talkative peeps who wind up sitting beside us.

In my case, I answer the questions with very nuclear statements. I rarely followup with anything.

Example: So what do you do for a living?

Answer: I'm a statistician.

That's not exactly true, but it's close enough. More to the point, if I tell the truth and reveal that I'm a psychometrician, I'll have to explain what that is, most likely, because very few even have that word in their vocabulary.

Southwest offers additional tips.

That one is danged close to the truth. If I'm ever sentenced to prison time, I'll likely volunteer for solitary confinement.

And I'd probably never seek to leave Gilligan's island.

Southwest offers another.

I might say it, but it'd be a lie. This one is way too much work.

And we can go one step further.

This might keep me from photographing the het couple swapping spit in row 21.

And row 20 now. Get a room, people!

Maybe this yummy cheesy goodness will see me across the country.

Not quite the sweet nuts of my dreams, but I might survive.

Of course, there are the times when I might invite some conversation, but it's (1) asleep, and (2) separated from me by an Asian chick reading a geek magazine.

Yes, proof again that I was born to suffer.

She chose the same cheesy goodness that I chose. You just have to wonder what that's about.

Fortunately, the chicklet beside me is now asleep, and it's time for me to start waking up as I doubt the houseboy will meet my flight and drive me home.

I don't know who formulated the coffee used by Southwest, but it's substantially better than the coffee we usually encounter at 35,000 feet. I suspect that whoever created this blend did so with aircraft conditions in mind.

Throughout the cross-continent ribaldry, the Jerry Springer gals were true to form, at least until the water was served.

At that point, they went to sleep. I suspect the curly haired flight attendant had something to do with that. Now, of course, we descending, and I suppose it was the popping ears that brought them back to life.

Just how much can three people discuss wedding planning? I might never know...if I'm lucky.


VeggieAmanda said...

Funny! I am surprised that you don't get caught taking pictures of people. My way of warding off conversation is by falling asleep as soon as the peep next to me sits down.

Jim Penny said...

People just don't pay much attention to what's going on around them, and I mess with the phone a lot on planes, which probably leaves them ignoring me most of the time. Of course, there's no expectation of privacy on a plane, outside the bathroom, so I don't worry about it much.

I try to keep the faces of children out of the frames.

However, I keep waiting for someone to offer a little heated discussion. It'll happen one day. So far, the only people who catch on are the attendants. They are bemused by it all.