What started the mess: Officials said a state police employee spotted the suspicious object outside the doors of the offices as she was opening the building at 8 a.m. Monday and her supervisor called in a bomb squad from Salem, The (Portland) Oregonian reported Wednesday.
So we cordon off the area. We establish a perimeter. We send in one brave soul to fetch the suspicious package. We xray the suspicious package.
It contains a teddy bear.
What does the teddy bear contain? Stuffing. Probably not the Stovetop variety.
-- text tapped from a virtual keyboard.