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Thursday, October 22, 2009

How to make potato soup

First, go to FoodLion and buy 10 pounds of russett potatos for $1.99, and then leave town for two weeks to let the taters age a little on the floor by the trash can.

Pick out four taters.

Wash the taters. Using your hands is sufficient. Do not peel the taters.

Now you slice the taters into sort of one inch cubes. The emphasis is on the sort of.

It helps to have a conference call going on during the slicing. Do not start the call while washing the taters or you'll be hauled up on charges of peeing while on the phone.

Do not explain this to Demanda.

Slice some onion if you want and have one. I didn't have one, but I wanted one.

I was born to suffer.

If you find some green on the taters, ignore it. The tummy ache will only make you stronger.

Put the taters in a pot.

Find the olive oil from FoodLion. A stick of butter would be better.

Splash the taters with the olive oil.

Measure out a teaspoon of salt. Chicken boullion makes a good alternative. The salt is to give the potassium-sparing dieuretic a workout.

Put the salt in the pot.

Add water to the pot.

Bring to a boil. Let simmer while you're on the phone explaining passing standard studies for certification examinations.

It is better to let the spoon sit atop so it will occassionally fall.

At some point, you hang up and eat.

Don't forget the butter. One stick is about right as a starting point.

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