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Saturday, October 31, 2009

Too bad it wasn't my plane in Dallas

Airline apologizes for booting kid, mom http://kl.am/4x8P (via @OddNewsUPI)

This was a tweet.

Southwest is getting fiesty. They have long been making passengers of size purchase two seats. Now, they are booting singing children and their parents.

I could have used some of this that last week on American.

I'll be flying Southwest this week. Six diff planes. We'll see how that goes.

The sweet thing is that the first four planes were booked just last Thursday. That means I get to board before everyone else! W00T!

-- Posted from a mobile device

Let's take this one step further

http://bit.ly/2kOcR3 HuffPost - Colorado Town Pushes To Legalize Marijuana

So a town wants to legalize pot. Cool. I'm not sure how a locality can override state and federal law, but I can live with that ambiguity.

What I suggest is that all the illegal drugs become legal. Sell them as you would alcohol.

These drugs are cheap to make. They would be equally cheap to sell. Or let the market do it's thing with whatever drug it is, just as rum distillers work to separate themselves from one another.

What we get is the instant loss of crime. Mexico and South America would love us, as the drug lords watch their empires fall. Afganistan would need a real crop.

Those guys would need to find honest labor. No one in Johnston County would be at risk from an exploding meth lab, much less that nasty cleanup.

We might have a few more of the citizenry hopped up on something, but I doubt it, at least after the novelty wore off. We certainly don't see that with alcohol.

More to the point, with the conservation of resources now that most of the crime is gone, we can focus on some better problems, say poverty and health care and education.

The list of where we need to focus our efforts is long.

-- Posted from a mobile device

Cats and tails

There's something you need to understand about cats and their tails. They are separate animals.

Cats and tails are born separately of different mothers.

At some point before a kitten's eyes open, the mama cat finds the appropriate tail for the kitten, and then arranges for the attachment.

You can see evidence for this in the disparate behaviors of cat and tail.

-- Posted from a mobile device

Epic fail in Afganistan

http://bit.ly/v3qTy HuffPost - ELECTION TALKS BREAK DOWN

American policy in the Middle East of the last 40 years not withstanding, the military action in Afganistan is doomed to an epic fail unless someone actually applies some strategy there.

So far we only see tactics, and those tactics cost us 1000 injuries in the last three months.

Afganistan, like Iran and most other societies there, is an amalgation of tribes.

Democracy is unlikely to work there anytime soon. To think otherwise is cultural imperalism. Such thinking is also naive.

It also renders our stated strategy unattainable with currently employed tactics.

The problem is that these amalgations of tribal societies permit the development of uncontrolled militias within their borders. With sufficient income from the sale of oil and dope, these militias can become problems for the rest of the world, especially when they conspire to fly our airplanes into buildings filled with civilians.

What concerns me is the hesitancy of American leadership to permit the full deployment of American strength.

Frankly, the American military has no business in places like Afganistan. However, if we're going to play this game, we should play it to win, and to win immediately.

In combat, the warrior raises the response sufficiently to convince the assailent to withdraw. It is not a matter of tit for tat.

Frankly, I don't see any possible success in Afganistan without the use of much more powerful weaponry, which the Air Force can fly in using remotely controlled drones carrying nuclear arms as necessary, while the rest of the military orders from Domino's.

However, the better approach would be to sit back, defend the perimeter, enjoy the pizza while the Middle East implodes, and spend the excess funds on alternative fuel development.

-- Posted from a mobile device

iPhone meets China

iPhone comes to China without key feature http://m.apnews.com/ap/db_16036/contentdetail.htm?contentguid=WHY1uaD2

Interesting given that the phone is probably made in China in the first place.

The prat of this article is that the iPhone sold by a second tier carrier in China lacks WiFi capability.

Oh, boo hoo.

The thing is that I've always thought of WiFi as a nod in the US to AT&T's poor data network coverage. It might be. I connect to WiFi whenever possible because it's faster.

When outside the US, I connect to WiFi so my phone actually works. The international data roaming charges hurt my feelings.

However, China promotes an alternative to WiFi, which is unfortunately myopic on the part of the Chinese.

That Apple did not replace the iPhone's WiFi feature to work with China's standard is immently interesting, given Apple's eagerness to hamstring the American iPhone to protect AT&T's data network.

One might suppose that Apple doesn't worry so much in China, but I suspect the real truth is that the second tier carrier in China already has a data network capable of supporting the iPhone.

In my three visits to that entrancing country, it was apparent that cell capability there leads American by easily a decade.

-- Posted from a mobile device

Friday, October 30, 2009

Mormon muffins

http://bit.ly/4o95CA HuffPost - Hot Mormon Muffins Calendar Pokes Fun At Mormon Mom Stereotype

I'm not sure where I have less love lost: The Catholic Church or the Mormon Church.

Mind you, I have no problem with polygamy of any kind. Go for it if you can afford it. Meanwhile, I do not eat fish on

However, the matter is this sacreligous calendar. C'mon guys!

I the only one who looked at it and yawned?

It's straight from the 50s mechanic pinups.

Let's get into post-mortum salvation. Not to mention Moroni. After all that nonsense, we can engage what makes a lewd pinup calendar.

BTW, this one does not lewd make. It makes silly.

-- Posted from a mobile device

LBJ cried

http://bit.ly/15KqB1 HuffPost - A New Wrinkle In The JFK Assassination Story

So what's the deal? I am without doubt that LBJ could cry, and the moments after the Kennedy assination would be a prime opportunity to shed a few tears.

Yeah, I am willing to believe that Lyndon weeped in the airplane bathroom on Love Field. Afterwards, I'm sure he lined up political bohuncuses to kick across the Patomic.

However, none of this is important. What's important is the continued example of how a lack of transparency leads to uncountable conspiracy theories.

Mind you, I do not expect the US government to become transparent overnight or even over the next century.

To do so, however, would create a far stronger government. Think Google as a government.

-- Posted from a mobile device

Overestimation of Richard Burr

Tonight on Tim Boyum's Political Connections on News 14, Tim interviewed Rick Santorum from Pennsylvania.

It'd be hard to find a greater prat.

Normally, I would not bat an eye over the guest. Boyum's coverage is generally fair and well-balanced.

That he's interviewing some republican is also not a concern. I just hope Tim washed up before going home, lest he contaminate the newborn on the house.

What caught my attention was Santorum's laudulation of Richard Burr as the be all and end all of importance in North Carolina and in the US Senate.

I thought I would puke over the abject stink of all the ignorance.

I receive Burr's newsletter by email. It is hard to imagine a greater ignoramous on this continent.

I do so look forward to a new frosh senator from NC next year.

-- Posted from a mobile device


http://bit.ly/3ACQ7J HuffPost - President Obama Lifts HIV Travel Ban

It's about freaking time. The United States with its fabled medical research has sat on the sideline far too long. My only grumble is the two month think it through period.

To think: we take our place among the civilized nations of this world.

What is that about?

This entire ban was put in place soley on ignorance. It stayed in place soley to continue the marginalization of the gay community.

I could just spit when I think of the damage this policy has visited on this world. Perhaps the healing can commence at the turn of the year.

-- Posted from a mobile device

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Rosanne Cash on the Colbert Report


It should have never been opened, and it should be closed immediately.

Give the detainees a bucket of money and a first class ticket to wherever they want to go that will have them. If they take up arms against the US, shoot them where they stand.

Until then, live and let live.

Meanwhile, can you imagine the emotional damage these men carry after all this time?

-- Posted from a mobile device

No rapping in line

McPrank: 4 Utah teens cited for McDonald's rap http://m.apnews.com/ap/db_16032/contentdetail.htm?contentguid=4VCRNat5

Now, just a minute. I recognize that these guys were holding up the line at a Utah McDonald's drive-through by rapping a la a YouTube vid.

However, a part of the complaint appears to be that they were not speaking clearly enough.

Excuse me?

Someone should put that McDonald's manager out in front of that drive-through speaker for a while.

-- Posted from a mobile device

Robertson should cast his vision wider

http://bit.ly/9pgld HuffPost - Christian Broadcasting Writer: Most Halloween Candy "Demonic," "Prayed Over By Witches"

OK, these Christian peeps should think a little deeper.

There's a reason Christmas comes when it comes. Winter solstice. There's a thing about that tree also.

Easter comes when it comes for a reason. And that bunny is a pagan fertility thing.

BTW, the pagans I know are far friendlier than the Christians.

Jesus died at 33. Wanna guess why that number was picked out of the blue? It's not like Jesus left a death certificate. Think numerology. And count some steps in DC at buildings designed by Masons.

Then there's that 40 days and 40 nights thing. Sometimes it's years. Ya think God just liked that number? Some writer steeped in numerology did.

And then we have the little church up in the NC mountains that burns anything that is not King Jimmy's version of the Bible. I'd go watch the Halloween burning except that I'd snark a little at the wrong moment, and they'd throw me on the fire.

The thing is this world had far greater problems than a little Halloween candy, and these stunts only serve to distract the followers from that which should worry them.

Being gay and blood donations

For those if you who don't get deep into blood donations, let me point out that gay men experience a lifetime ban on donating blood, courtesy the American FDA.

All this with the neverending appeals for more blood donors.

Now, there's discussion regarding lifting the ban after five year's worth of celibacy.

Here's the link to the scoop.


Five years of celibacy? That change will certainly end the crisis at the blood banks.

Oh yeah, I could just spit.

We have two problems here.

First, the continued marginalization of gay people. I can find you a Duke University doctorate right now who used to be one of my best buds but who now keeps his distance because he's afraid he might catch something. I have even heard him state that HIV and AIDS could easily be an expression of God's wrath.

Duke should recall that EdD.

Second, blood testing is statistical testing. There is always a finite possibility for a false negative no matter what the test is about.

That pint of blood you received in the hospital could easily be the source of your hepatitis infection, and though it irritates me to hear, many physicians will tell you that HIV is an easily treated and controlled infection compared to hepatitis.

Of course, we can push that false positive rate into the nigh nonexistent by spending a little money, but do we? Nooooooooo! It's easier, and frankly way more popular, to continue the on-going denegration of the gay population.

Just remember that when you need some blood you can't get, even though my perfectly usable B+ is right there waiting for the needle that I do not mind one bit.

-- Posted from a mobile device

It's about time the army got a grip

Army allows Sikh to keep beard, turban http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/10/28/sikh.us.forces/index.html?iphoneemail

WTF does it matter about a turban and a beard? Without Sikhs, Johnston County would have run out of physicians decades ago.

And my bro's infected redbug in a very delicate place could have been worse.

Yet again, we have the continued case of form over function. It's better to look good than to be good.

I could just spit.

Maybe this nonsense is beginning to fade from the American military, but I really doubt it.

Just look at the caveats layered on that decision.

When it's real, we'll see women in combat and gays in uniform.

What? Women cannot fight? You think that? Peep! I have faced women in the ring. You do not want to underestimate what she can do.

She will hurt you so bad, and that she can do so is because of the way you think! Guess what? She already knows that.

You are doomed at this rate.

And you sure as shootin' do not want to face a troop of ticked off queers with automatic weapons. They will screw up your day before you can make the tea.

Get with the program and grow up, folks! Our hair, headdress, and beard, much less whom we love, does not control how we fight. Our genetalia does not control how we pull triggers.

You're bringing your own limitations to the table, and the result is that you weaken us all.

-- Posted from a mobile device

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

My new job

I have it figured!

You might recall that in the very early Christian churches on this continent that there were people who walked around with sticks during the services. The job of those people was to whomp parishioners who were drifting off to sleep or who were otherwise not paying attention.

I'm gonna become the designated whomper.

With that said, here's my current list of whompees.

1. The supervisors who make gate agents lie about flight delays in 15 minute increments. Or any other increment. They're going to get a good one.

2. Moms who bring lap babies on planes without compelling reason...or Benadryl. Double whomps when I am on said plane.

3. The idiot in 9D who answered his phone and chatted up his wife as we taxied to the runway. He will be an unrecognizable mass of quivering protoplasm when I'm finished.

4. The mechanic who did not repair the overhead light on seat 10B. I have a book I could knock out in the next two hours, and that'd make me a lot less grumpy.

5. Pilots who announce to passengers that such flight delays are uncommon. Dude! It's something on at least one out of every four flights for me, and yes, I do count them.

6. People on planes who unbuckle their seatbelts before the light goes out. Double whomps if you stand up. What makes you so special anyway? When you finally fall, please do not do so in my direction. I will only help you fall faster.

7. People on planes who get up and go to the bathroom during the final descent. You people just need to be flushed with all the rest of the crap.

8. People who tell me they have a quick question, as if they were qualified to make that assessment, and then proceed to ask me something worthy of a dissertation. Double whomps if you show annoyance with the length of my answer.

9. People who ask me how many people I need to make a statistical decision. It's statistics, people, not Physics. Double whomps if you become annoyed when I ask about the information necessary to perform the power analysis so I can tell you how many I need. Triple whomps if I give you a number, and you argue that it needs to be smaller.

10. People who ask a question, and then become annoyed when I answer it in a manner that they did not want to hear. Double whomps when you suggest that your alternative answer is better.

11. People who use the words "reliability" and "validity" without qualification as though either word means a wit without further specification.

12. People who want an empirical answer but who cannot deal with gathering the supporting data. Double whomps if what you're after is the passing score on a test.

13. People who put animation and other effects in PowerPoint presentations instead of including a little information. Double whomps if I can summarize your presentation in a compound sentence or less. Triple whomps if you present something as novel, and I know for a fact it was discovered a few decades ago.

14. People on planes who feel it necessary to hit my shoulder when walking down the aisle. Double whomps if you hit me with luggage. Triple whomps if you grind your fat bohuncus on me while stowing your grip.

15. People on planes who cannot find an enumerated seat and sit the freak down. Double whomps if you're in first class.

16. People, especially on planes, who are total strangers and expect to chit chat without invitation.

17. The idiot who selected the postage stamp of a battery for the iPhone, and then decided that extended life batteries would not be available.

18. The abject twarfs who post helpful tips about extending the life of the iPhone batter when each and every tip involves not using the iPhone.

19. People who amble down a concourse. Double whomps if you stop in front of me. Triple whomps if I stumble over you and your grip.

20. People who seek perfection. Double whomps if you expect me to stop actually doing stuff to tag along with you as you flick fly specks from the stable walls.

I'm sure this list will grow rapidly.

-- Posted from a mobile device

The joy of flying

The little plane that couldn't.

We landed with 15 minutes for me to move about a half mile to the departure gate for my flight to Raleigh.

American flight 428, Wednesday, 28 October.

I made it with 5 minutes to spare, which means no dinner.

We just heard that the mechanics are doing something. We do not know what. We were supposed to board at 4:35.

It is now 4:52. I suspect this could be interesting.

And tortuous.

5:00 Still no word.

5:03 Word is we have no word.

5:12 Silence. Welcome to how airlines balance their books on the backs of the flying public. And you thought the tiny seats with no legroom were a problem.

5:22 Word is we're still at it. Might board in 15 minutes.

5:25 It's the PA system.

5:35 Still waiting. Add another 15 minutes to the wait. I really despise this plumber's game. Just say you don't know.

5:44 I'm glad I ate the can of chips on the last plane. There is very little to eat in the A Concourse at DFW, with the exception of the hotdog selling bar. They have something they call BBQ also. Shudder. Oh yeah, there's a line for the men's room. When was the last time you saw that?

5:53 Still waiting. Might get an update in a couple of minutes. The people waiting for the Tuscon flight should stay in the area until the gate change can be announced. No wonder the bathros are packed.

6:00 The Tuscon plane finally has a new gate. Those guys have been sitting on the tarmac some ten minutes or more.

6:15 Starving. McDonald's. Is it any wonder I'm so fat?

6:22 The burger exploded on the first bite. I fished out the beef and trashed the rest. Well, I did save the pickle. Ate the fries.

Found special sauce on my pants. People keep asking where I found the food.

6:25 Sitting on the floor between the packed bathrooms. Loving the sweet odor of public sanitation. Got a bird's eye view of asses and luggage rumbling by. And company too. Go figure.

6:39 Stepping into the third hour. Just finished The Lost Symbol. Brown did well up until the end. He took too long to finish after the climax. Of course, I could be too grumpy to recognize a good ending.

6:43 Now we're waiting on a part to arrive from the hanger. That should take another 20 minutes.

What we have here is maintenance being done in real time at my expense, rather than swapping out the equipment.

For this, we get cheaper seats.

6:54 Bro asks where I am. I said hell. Where's that Monday morning heart attack when I need it? My heels are aflame. If I sit in the floor, the fumes from the bathrooms nearly suffocate me.

Wait. That might be the exit I need.

The ESL dude might have just said that all the other flights are full.

7:02 Three Vietnamese dudes with no English skills are trying to use the courtesy phone as a pay phone. That didn't work out very well for them.

7:11 The plug I used to recharge this phone is now dead. Maybe all this is the sign for me to find another carrier. You'd think that US Air might have asked where I went, but they never did.

Frankly, all the carriers blow chunks. Probably, my better effort would be to find gainful employment that did not involve air travel.

Maybe I should take up robbing liquor stores.

7:14 They say maintenance is finishing up. We'll have word in five minutes, along with the flying pigs.

I braved the bathroom lest I pop.

7:19 A very grumpy baby singing loudly has joined the group. The only thing to make this worse would be if we were sitting on the tarmac.

7:25 The great pratt sitting over there is offering unsolicited wisdom to the newly weds. I might puke on his shoes.

He should tell her that her carry on bag is officially too big.

7:28 We are boarding.

7:40 I am sitting on the plane. The overhead light is broken.

-- Posted from a mobile device

I am almost calm

The seat in front of me contains a mama and her not happy child, who has been singing for over an hour now. She rocks him so hard that my tray table shakes.

So the inflight psycho needs medication.

And something to wash it all down.

Meanwhile, a handsome couple chills with a flick on the iPhone.

Their taste in snacks runs similar to mine, though the window dude did get the cheese snaker fail.

They were holding hands later. Made me get all misty...and lonely.

Posted from a mobile device

Facilities on a plane

Yep, I couldn't wait.

The return to seat light illuminated as I locked the door.

Yeah, I peed in first class.

I'm not sure how one does much more in here, though by the smell of it, it's apparent that they do, or at least try.

You do know that in more than one movie, people have escaped planes by removing the crapper and jumping out.

I just don't believe that's realistic.

Besides, it's against the rules.

-- Posted from a mobile device

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Walking in the desert

I'm in a golf resort in the middle of a desert. One of many such resorts in and around Palm Spring.

Think Myrtle Beach with a zero added to the price tag.

So I went for a little walk after work. My first venture was around the pool.

The many planters in that area contained birds of paradise and impatiens, not the New Ginea hybrid variety.

There's also Bermuda grass everywhere. It's an apparent requirement of the golfing community.

I suppose there's some form of addiction created when the cleats penetrate the turf.

To the front of the hotel, there's a cutout where one can step off the sidewalk to gaze upon the indigenous beauty.

Isn't it pristine?

So I noodled on out for a walk. It's kind of a guided tour.

Of course, you know me and rules. I kept on noodling, dodging two carts headed to the bar.

I should have brought fishing equipment.

And stepping closer at dear peril to errant golf balls.

Surely there are trout in there.

Last night, the evening sky was picturesque.

Today, storms rolled in from the west. Of course, the mountains squeeze out the moisture, which makes rain unlikely, but we do have wind that could present problems at the airport tomorrow.

The gray skies present depression this evening.

Perhaps the colors of the setting sun will change that. Perhaps they won't.

-- Posted from a mobile device

Seeking perfection

The chandoliers in this hotel, like in most hotels, are designed to provide a particular luxury effect at minimal cost. To this end, they succeed.

They are also, probably, some firm of plastic. Think lucite or plexiglass.

There are also missing pieces, and they're easily noticed if you look closely enough.

The question is how much imperfection is acceptable the expected glance if most guests. I suspect a lot.

The point is for those out there in pellmell pursuit of perfection to make your organization proud: Just how far do you go to achieve the end you require, and what do you give up as you cruise far beyond the detection of most other mortals?

-- Posted from a mobile device

Hotel bonsai

Upon close, and I do mean close because I'm locked out of the room, inspection, this hotel decoration appears to be a real plant.

At first blush, you'd call it a bonsai, and it might be, but I suspect it is not a bonsai in the usual sense where some kindly old man has loved it for decades.

More likely, this one was a shrubbery that was tortuously cut back, roots trimmed to to fit in the decorative pot, and allowed to sprout a very little.

It appears to like low lighting, but I question how long it'll be before yielding to the non-lighting in this hallway.

One tiny leaf has already browner and withered.

-- Posted from a mobile device

Very Googly

Twitter Serves Up Ideas From Its Followers

Twitter is “smart enough, or lucky enough” to let its users create new features for it, says an M.I.T. professor.


First, there's no need for those double quotes in the sentence above the link. If the intent is to give credit to the prof, the terminal phrase does that quite well.

Besides, the statement make perfect sense sans quotes.

Excessively perfect sense.

How often have we watched a handful of otherwise intelligent get together to build a product that the world will want, and then wonder why the world yawned?

I cannot count the number of times, but I know they are all well-described in that book, Why Smart Companies Do Dumb Things, reviewed here some year or so ago.

Smart companies often appear to have a talent for doing dumb things. Perhaps even compelling need.

Mostly, I think we all do.

A very few people are smart enough, or more likely sensitive enough, to work in a vacuum and produce a something the world will crave.

We call that having a good idea. Maybe an aha moment.

The rest of us need help. We need people to tell us what they need. We use things like focus groups to figure this out.

Twitter studies tweets. Google studies search patterns. FaceBook studies postings.

And they all make their stuff better usung the information they glean. In turn, our life generally becomes a little better.

Let's get with the program, peeps, and make this world a little better in these small ways.

Doing so is where the smart money hides.

-- Posted from a mobile device

Monday, October 26, 2009

Snacks on a plane

That dog I ate for lunch didn't last me very long, and two would have made more sense, but it seemed prudent to save myself for decent food in Palm Springs.

I should have known better.

I wound up offering four bucks on my AmEx account for a cheese snack pack. Here's what that included.

0.26 ounce of golden buttery goodness from Pepperidge Farm. Two crackers. That one nearly pegged the meter.

Next up...

0.3 ounces of toasted sesame goodness from Pepperidge Farm. Two more crackers.

SMOG! Could there be one Lance nab in this box? I mean, really? How hard would it be?

The pretty people in first class are having Penne Pasta Primavera. I can smell it.

Next, the cheese.

0.75 ounce of pure cheesy cheddar goodness. You do know a mouse would have collapsed in hunger by now?

How does what amounts to a pat of cheese make the snack pack namesake?

Now for my salty nuts.

One whole ounce of Fisher's deluxe nut blend. This was actually pretty good, as was the rest. It's just the microportions that have me begging for more.

For dessert...

One ounce of Sun-Maid Raisins. Natural California. Again good, but not enough calories to sustain my miserable life.

Where's my blankie? I am hungrier than when I started. This was absolutely the most unfullfilling 300 calories of my life.

To wash it all down, we have a can of mater juice. It was free.

Yeah, this plane is wiggly.

Posted from a mobile device

Germs on a plane

Ma and Pa Kettle are worried about germs on a plane.

They really should read the fine print that comes with those surgical masks. These masks are designed to prevent fluids from an open body cavity from splashing into the surgeon's mouth and nose.

They also prevent the surgeon from drooling on your spleen.

Now it's true that these masks might stop a few airbourne dropplets, but they serve little or no purpose in the observed application.

The little viruses will sail right on through the fabric and set up housekeeping in your nose.

No prob.

The same goes for bacteria, mold spores, and pollen, though the mask will stop larger particles of dust such as encountered when mowing grass.

If the cleanliness of your air is this important, get a respirator...or just stay home.

-- Posted from a mobile device

Once on a plane, forever in a landfill

I just finished my 700 ml of filtered water with minerals added to improve the taste. I'm about 30 minutes short, and this could spell certain doom and despair.

Aside from the obvious contribution to the waste stream, there's supporting Nestle that disturbs me. However, that was the only water available where I was at the time.

There wasn't even a water fountain, and the spiquots in the bathrooms are not suitable for filling a bottle. This makes bringing my own empty bottle a problem.

Being the good boy I am, I crumple the empty bottle before tossing it into the plane trash. By the time we're on the ground, it'll be even smaller because of the change in air pressure.

Someone should give me a cookie.

-- Posted from a mobile device

Things I need on a plane

I am a simple man of simple needs. Here's the list from Sky Mall.

Just imagine the looks when I return to the office with laser hair!

Do you know just how many maters you can buy at FoodLion for $80? Yet, more than one has sworn to me about how great this inverted planter is.

Two and a half hours of my life recorded in 320x240 high quality AVI video. I can see the line forming already. A real steal at $200 each. Compatable with Vista. I wish I was.

Perfect for the psycho in your life. Maybe even bend a spoon or two.

As if we weren't geeky enough already, here's a Dick Tracy wrist cell phone. There is no mention of a Moon Maiden or Martian Moon Maggots.

Yeah, it does Bluetooth.

For those unsightly toe tanlines in strappy heels, think the foot tanner! I'm not sure how I've managed so long without one.

From Max-a-Boob...those horizontal stripes can only make you look more endowed.

Perfect for those telecommuting days. Just don't enable the video with Skype. Only $60 for a complete loss of self-respect.

For those meetings that are getting out if hand, bring a little motivation to the recalcitrant SME. Also useful during personnel reviews with Da Man.

The next peep who whacks my shoulder on the way to the pisser is gonna taste this one.

I have needed this for all my life and a day. This could easily be the best part of that story.

From the Michelle Obama collection, we have this one heralding real underwire.

And this one to move the back bulges to the front.

A full body girdle? This thing just has to redefine all day comfort.

And just what every crossdresser and not one GG will want, butt falsies.

He can snore in my bed anytime he wants.

-- Posted from a mobile device

Complaining ass

He didn't have a power outlet under his seat, and his battery was dead. "What am I supposed to do now?"

I had several options for him to consider.

-- Posted from a mobile device

On the road again

Yep, we're back at it again.

Headed to Palm Springs to conduct a modified Angoff passing standard study. Those might be new words for you. If so, we're going to determine what the passing point of an examination is going to be by collecting a whole lot of expert opinion.

Go give Google a twirl, and you'll see more hits than you ever dreamed of.

So we had a 4 am wake up. Yeah, it takes grandpa a while to get going in the morning. Here's the sight that came with my parking space.

I took the picture because there was no way my eyes were going to engage at the literal crack of dawn.

Now the view shifts to a variation on last week's theme.

Those peeps are receiving US$300 vouchers for taking a bump. I doubt they realize that the next plane, mine, is also over booked. It could be a while before they get to where they need to be.

Or they could play the bump game all the way to independent riches. I wonder what the going rate is for these things.

The real kicker is that my flight to Palm Springs cost less than the 300 bucks.

I used to volunteer for those things, but they're a pain to use, and I'm not sure I'd ride a plane to vacation anyway.

Vacation? What's that about?

Pardon. I'm in recovery from a minor heart attack.

The phone power cord wasn't where it usually stays. I had to dig deeper, and I found myself remembering how I removed it from the bag before leaving the house.

I was already to go buy another one.

I remain astounded that there's a market for bottled water. Yet, I contribute to that bottom line with every trip. Airplanes make a dessicating environment, especially in roach class where you're just not going to get much attention.

My last CFO used to have fits when we charged back water. This 700 ml bottle cost about US$2.60.

He didn't spend much time on a plane, and it showed.

All settled into 13D. Refrained from slapping the Type A travelors, though they'd benefit from a little discipline.

Big D! Here we come!

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