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Friday, May 1, 2009

Let me remove all doubt

Let me remove all doubt
Copyright 2009, Jim Penny
Word count: 176

Just in case some of you weren't quiet sure, let me go ahead and remove all doubt: I am an idiot.

It wasn't enough that I systematically administered food poisoning to my own self. Oh no. I had more talent to display. Oh yeah, I cut my tongue on a pair of nail clippers.

Now just how might one accomplish that, you might be wondering. Well, here you go.

I had used the clippers in the normal manner to remove a small piece of cuticle, and the little sliver of me stuck to the inside of the nipper. No, it wouldn't shake off, and I went to puff it away. While puffing, I apparently released the lever a little, and it started to pinch my upper lip. That motivated me to pinch on the lever a little, and that closed the nipper jaws.

Right through the tip of my tongue.

That was Monday night, and now you understand screaming you heard off in the distance.

4 comments:

The Crow said...

Bless your heart! When it rains, it pours.

Probably your brain was still affected by the grey-cabbage-gas syndrome.

:)

Diana said...

Everyone is allowed a stupid pass every once in a while. Find some good tequila to sterilize your body and mind. Next week is another chance to start again. :)

Jim Penny said...

I am doomed.

VeggieAmanda said...

We all do stupid things on a weekly, sometimes a daily basis. You are not an idiot, you were just having a bad several weeks. I think you should take Diana's advice and get some tequila.