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Friday, May 1, 2009

Let me remove all doubt

Let me remove all doubt
Copyright 2009, Jim Penny
Word count: 176

Just in case some of you weren't quiet sure, let me go ahead and remove all doubt: I am an idiot.

It wasn't enough that I systematically administered food poisoning to my own self. Oh no. I had more talent to display. Oh yeah, I cut my tongue on a pair of nail clippers.

Now just how might one accomplish that, you might be wondering. Well, here you go.

I had used the clippers in the normal manner to remove a small piece of cuticle, and the little sliver of me stuck to the inside of the nipper. No, it wouldn't shake off, and I went to puff it away. While puffing, I apparently released the lever a little, and it started to pinch my upper lip. That motivated me to pinch on the lever a little, and that closed the nipper jaws.

Right through the tip of my tongue.

That was Monday night, and now you understand screaming you heard off in the distance.


The Crow said...

Bless your heart! When it rains, it pours.

Probably your brain was still affected by the grey-cabbage-gas syndrome.


Diana said...

Everyone is allowed a stupid pass every once in a while. Find some good tequila to sterilize your body and mind. Next week is another chance to start again. :)

Jim Penny said...

I am doomed.

VeggieAmanda said...

We all do stupid things on a weekly, sometimes a daily basis. You are not an idiot, you were just having a bad several weeks. I think you should take Diana's advice and get some tequila.