About me

Thursday, December 31, 2009

A quick walk around Addie and Tink Coats' homestead

After the tour of the cemetery, we stepped up to the homestead. It's changed a lot, and generally not for the better, since we grew up there.

It could still use a flush.

Here's Part 1

And here's Part 2.

Yeah, we had a technical thing happen in the backyard.

Author of Ugandan “Kill the Gays” Bill Says he Fears for his Life


Here's the African sadness: "In an irony to end all ironies, David Bahati, the author of Uganda’s highly controversial “Kill the Gays” bill, has told All Africa.com that he is in fear for his life after the disappearance of his cousin, and after receiving numerous death threats."

Sounds to me like it really is all on the wheel.

And it even gets better: "Additionally, Parliament speaker Edward Ssekandi said that he has received threats of wiped out financial support from foreign entities should they support the proposed anti-gay legislation."

Peeps, what goes around comes around. Let's hope the Ugandans get a clue...and share it with Jamaica.

Man Pays Record $330,000 for a Virtual Space Station


I am so not with it now. This guy is a gamer in a virtual world, and he just put down $300,000 for a virtual space station.

Don't gasp too hard. This mess is a $2 billion industry in China. I wasn't sure there were $2,000,000,000 in China, much less that much available for gaming in virtual worlds.

Now here's the part to gasp over. Our fellow will likely make his money back, and then even show a profit, all from other gamers.

What a strange world it is.

A brief tour of our little corner of the Pleasant Grove Community Cemetery

Here we go being all impromptu without knowing how to use the equipment. If you like perfection, you probably want to move along.

We're up in the cemetery where we have a lot of family buried.

And there you go.

Religious violence simmers in Nigeria


Here's what our Christmas hijacker found in Nigeria: "Christians and Muslims have been killing each other in Nigeria for much of AbdulMutallab's lifetime. At least 10,000 Nigerians have died during Christian-Muslim riots and ethnic violence during the past decade."

10 years. 10,000 dead people.

That sounds about right, don't you think? Is it any wonder the nutless marvel put a bomb in his underwear?

If we even came close to that degree of civil unrest, there would be martial law just about everywhere you might turn.

I see nothing to be gained in proclaiming a nation to be an x-religion nation, even if there is a clear majority in that nation. Doing so implicitly marginalizes the other citizens present, and we don't have to travel to Nigeria to see this happen.

Just look at the United States when a group gets all hot and bothered to call the country a Christian nation. Hell, we don't even speak a single language within a religion.

We shouldn't permit religion to have a voice in government, but we do, and it leads to those exclusionary prayers that we don't have to search for all that hard to find.

However, the separation of church and state is a lost and forgotten premise. I suspect the loss of the premise foretells the loss of the nation, and frankly, I'm not all that sure the minorities here have ever been an accepted part of this nation, aside from contributions of taxes.


-- text tapped from a virtual keyboard.

Location:Westgrove St,Raleigh,United States

A tale told by two idiots

We're at the Coats' Country Museum. We are not inside. Yet

The museum was left by my great uncle and aunt to the community and the local home demonstration club. Along with several hundred thousand dollars.

The money is gone now, mostly. A clause in the will permitted the club to dip into the principle to maintain the place.

Husbands with some carpentry skills did very well.

I grew up with this mess, and my attitude shows it.

Here's the front of the house.

Tink and Addie did not build that ramp. They were too cheap. They would just call neighbors to help them up or down the steps.

I was one of those neigbors.

Tink and Addie had indoor plumbing.

This rock caps the septic system. Lift it, and you can see Tink's turds.

Here's the back of the house.

Addie's rose bush grafted from her college graduation is gone. So are the daffodils.

My brother planted this pine tree. The building is where Tink was born.

Here's a closer view of Tink's birthplace. There's a tobacco ordering pit in the rear.

This is the back of the house proper, the house where all the money was spent.

Tink pushed his brother Lon down those steps. Lon hit his head and died. Tink told the sherrif and coroner that Lon was drunk and fell. The local federalies believed Tink because Lon was the local drunk.

Here's the bell tower.

It's as deep in the ground as it is tall. Yeah, it's also the local lightening rod. Tink wanted something like the bell tower I'm Chapel Hill.

This is the best he could do.

The bells need maintenance.

I might see Jesus in that moss. More likely, I see reason to exercise the clause in the will to have this mess sold at public auction because the club is neglecting it.

The museum is full of junk from the last hundred years. The stuff on the outside looks a lot like the stuff on the inside.

Think your grandmother's attic without any of the charm.

Location:Zacks Mill Rd,Angier,United States

Lunch on New Year's Eve with Grannie

We met Grannie and Buck at a Bojangle's for lunch here on the last day of the year. They arrived early to get their customary parking spot by the door.

We arrived later to park by the dumster in hopes of seeing the feral cats. That hope was not met.

We walked over to their car. Grannie was scowling, which suggested that she had not recognized us yet. Lol and Josh held back to let me take the lead.

Buck appeared to announce us in the car, and she smiled.

They got out of the car, Grannie accepted the flowers from the children, but she didn't know whether to carry them or leave them on the car.

We put them in the car for her.

She had a card for Josh and his birthday, but she couldn't decide which of us was Josh.

Buck identified Josh for her.

So we go in. I order for Lil and me, and then leave Josh and Buck in the line so I can go find Grannie.

She's sitting at the one chair at the one table (for two) that she can sit at. I drag up another table to make room for the others.

Mama procedes to tell me about the mess those old Pennies are causing. With a little questioning, she identifies the problem makers.

There are all dead.

Josh arrives with lunch.

We eat in a lot of silence, broken on occassion by me. Sometimes Grannie would say something or ask a question, but she would do so with such a light voice that I could only see her lips move.

It angers her to ask her to repeat herself. I just mumble something, and that seems to be sufficient for most conversation with her.

-- text tapped from a virtual keyboard.

Location:Zacks Mill Rd,Angier,United States

Scanners, privacy, and airports

Opinion: Don't let scanners erase privacy http://bit.ly/7beP9P (via @cnn)

OK, so Jason has his panties in a wad over the use of body imaging as a part of airport security. His point is well-taken, but for the time being, I see no alternative.

However, let's not forgot just how little privacy remains in the American public. Stop to count just how many times you are recorded for all posterity on security cams. They're everywhere, and in a good many places you never even thought about.

Visit an ATM. Walk by a bank, not just in one. Drive through an intersection that has red light robots. Bought groceries lately?

Airports are very much the also-rans in security.

It might be better to worry about the eyes the screener who has to check out my image in that screen.

-- text tapped from a virtual keyboard.

Location:Westgrove St,Raleigh,United States

Saddleback Church members say 'Amen' to pastor's request


Rick Warren and his Saddleback abomination of a church need $900,000 by COB today. They say that with more parishioners in financial do-do, the church has spent more than it budgeted and more than it took in.

I suspect a good many churches in this world could do quite well on a yearly budget of $900,000.

More likely, Rick needs passage to Uganda to tie nooses for the soon to be executed gay people.

The parishioners seem all over this appeal. Here's how one member responded: "This is a great opportunity for God to express himself," said Jim Walls, from Trabuco Canyon, who received the news after coming home from a ski trip. "It's a great opportunity for the church to honor God. It's a great opportunity to raise the points of faith that our shepherd Rick Warren lives."

Mr. Walls appears to feel this appeal represents a great opportunity.

At 22,000 members, aka sheep being led to the slaughter, Rick needs to squeeze about $45 to $50 a head to meet his needs.

I think he should channel Oral Roberts on this one. Perhaps this time, a deity can come through on that promise when he doesn't raise enough money.

-- text tapped from a virtual keyboard.

Location:Westgrove St,Raleigh,United States

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Bomb squad finds deadly teddy bear


What started the mess: Officials said a state police employee spotted the suspicious object outside the doors of the offices as she was opening the building at 8 a.m. Monday and her supervisor called in a bomb squad from Salem, The (Portland) Oregonian reported Wednesday.

So we cordon off the area. We establish a perimeter. We send in one brave soul to fetch the suspicious package. We xray the suspicious package.

It contains a teddy bear.

What does the teddy bear contain? Stuffing. Probably not the Stovetop variety.

-- text tapped from a virtual keyboard.

AT&T: The Communications Company That Failed to Communicate in 2009


First, AT&T has not had any problems that any other cellular carrier has not had. There is nothing special about the company, no matter what the ads might suggest.

The company had, however, a series of challenges all of which stem from what might be the absolute worst community
communication strategy in corporate history.

The article presents 2009 in detail. I'll just hit the high points. In particular, those points that grandly ticked me off.

Bear in mind that AT&T had exclusive right to sell the most popular phone on the planet. Despite that leg up on the competition, AT&T had managed to handle its affairs so poorly that it's perception with the public places it at the bottom of the carrier heap.

I think raw graduates with only a minor in the area could have done better.

Tethering: Tethering is provided by 22 iPhone-selling carriers around the world. AT&T is not among them. It was promised for 2009, but not delivered. One might ask how tethering on an iPhone consumes more bandwidth than tethering on any other smartphone. Answer: It does not.

MMS: MMS was available on the iPhone through 29 carriers worldwide. AT&T was not among them. After a series of missed delivery deadlines, we received MMS capability a few days after the end of summer.

No offer of a fee reduction for reduced messaging was offered to iPhone users who were denied a functionality that nearly every other phone in the country could do.

Here's a class action suit waiting to happen.

I find it impossible to believe that immediate MMS on iPhones would have presented a problem to AT&T's network. Had I bought a different phone, my MMSing would have been the same as it was with the earlier Moto Q, and that phone did not bother the data network.

Unlimited data: AT&T has mentioned publically that it had plans to reduce the availability of the data network to some users, those who used more. I'm not sure how one rewrites a contact in mid-cycle, but it does sound like a way to promote turnover when contracts mature.

It also sounds like a good way to motivate a class action suit.

IPhone sales in NYC: This week for a day or so, AT&T suspended online sales of the iPhone. Bloggers cited reports of reasons varying from some sort of online fraud to not enough towers for the data network. "New York is not ready fir the iPhone" was one quote.

Erstwhile unlimited data: In addition to the previous roblem with unlimited data, many apps in the app story are refused release unless they are written to only function when the iPhone is connected to WiFi.

For example: SlingBox only streams TV over WiFi only. Skype also functions only on WiFi. The word is that a few iPhone running those apps would disable the network for everyone else.

If that is true, AT&T should liquidate now.

The article closes with: Will 2010 Be Better?

Here's what they say: Despite damage to its brand in 2009, AT&T is still seeing massive subscriber growth, so the company is still doing great from a shareholder perspective, said Tero Kuittinen, an MKM telecom analyst. According to the company’s financial results, AT&T generated $40 billion in revenue and $10 billion in profit in the third quarter of 2009.

Not bad for what has been characterized as the worst carrier of the year. Someone should be thanking Apple for those iPhones.

Location:Westgrove St,Raleigh,United States

Lily makes biscuits

We're making drop biscuits tonight. Lil is in charge.

We need some butter.

And we need one stick to melt in the microwave.

While the butter melts, we fetch the flour

And the butter milk

We spoon the mostly melted butter in the pot. If you have a mixing bowl, you can use that. I do not have one.

Now pour in some butter milk with the butter.

Stir the two, and watch the butter chunk up. That does not matter.

Add some flour.

Stir it all together. You'll probably need to add some more buttermilk or more flour depending on whether the batter is dry or wet.

We added more buttermilk.

Do not knead the batter or the dough.

Dip large spoonfulls of batter onto the biscuit pan. This is why we call them drop biscuits.

They're much easier than what my mother and grandmother made, which were kneaded. When I try to make kneaded biscuits, I overknead, and the biscuits become very hard.

I have found that kneaded biscuits work better with lard, though Crisco also works.

We bake the biscuits at 425F for about 15 minutes or until they're browning on top.

I put ham and cheese in my biscuits.

Later, I had a grape jelly biscuit for dessert.

Now, go and make you some drop biscuits. You know you need some.

Location:Westgrove St,Raleigh,United States

Invasion from the west by the wild and untamed hoard

The wild and untamed Thundering Hoard passed Greensboro just after lunch. CVS and Cookout might never be the same.

Gibsonville had been on lockdown for days.

As if the thunder were not bad enough, they also have short fuses.

And they're lit.

Of course, the Thundering Hoard likes its pet milk.

Cows aren't good enough.

This trucker has no idea that trailer had been emptied at 65 mph.

They finally reached Raleigh and usurped my parking space.

Fortunately, I have meat to hold their attention.

All loaded in the reusable bags per specification.

However, we're under strict instructions to avoid the tongue.

Not to worry!

Location:Westgrove St,Raleigh,United States

40 claim sickness from eating oysters at local bar


From the WRAL website.

The scoop: "André Pierce, Director of the Environmental Health and Safety Division of Wake Human Services confirms they are investigating complaints of illness among people who ate at 42nd St. Oyster Bar in Raleigh.

Pierce says calls about being sick started coming in a week ago. About 40 people have claimed to have become sick after eating oysters at the famous seafood restaurant. It appears that 42nd St. Oyster Bar does not serve San Antonio Bay oysters. Earlier this month, the Texas Department of State and Health recalled San Antonio Bay oysters contaminated with norovirus. Pierce says an inventory on November 30th showed there were not any at 508 West Jones Street."

With a pretty pic

And a description of the potential problem: "It should be noted there are certain dangers associated with eating uncooked Gulf Coast oysters. These oysters are contaminated with Vibrio vulnificus bacteria. Vibrio vulnificus thrive in the warm waters of the Gulf of Mexico and the Atlantic Coast of Florida, where the bacteria occur naturally. Vibrio vulnificus septicemia is a blood infection that comes as a result of ingesting raw oysters that contain this bacteria. Side effects of the blood sickness can range from symptoms as mild as an upset stomach to fatality, depending on the amount ingested and the body's ability to fight off the bacteria."

Now, have you ever stopped to consider the culinary fortitude of the first fellow to slurp a raw oyster with all the appeal of a wad of snot and call it good? That took some doing.

However, if you're going to eat like this, please plan to remain outside until the next day. The flatulence is not fit to share, especially with children around.

-- text tapped from a virtual keyboard.

Location:Westgrove St,Raleigh,United States

Suit: NYC eatery patron hurt by falling moose head


How many times must you be told? Leave the freakin' moose alone! And yes, that includes sitting under one in a restaurant.

The moose is not a particularly pleasant beast, unlike Rocky's friend in those documentaries.

-- text tapped from a virtual keyboard.

Location:Westgrove St,Raleigh,United States

Azami silk satin pajama set with bow trim


With a pic

The question is if it's ok to spend the day in your satin PJs if you have no place to go in the snow.

Here's my retweet of the question: Can I spend all day in satin PJs if I have nowhere to go in the snow? http://ow.ly/R6I2 (via @IntimateGuide) (Yes.)

In addition, the part about the snow is not important.

What we have here are silky satin PJs that were $99, but are now $69.30. You prolly want several.

I'll need something with sleeves. First, my shoulders get cold in a tanktip, but more important, the world is not yet ready for the public display.

-- text tapped from a virtual keyboard.

Location:Westgrove St,Raleigh,United States

Strawberry farmers facing deer problem with crop

Samo found this one for us.


So the many deer in our woods are eating up the strawberry crop?

The problem is that we have too many deer, some of y'all will say.

Let me tell you now that the problem is that you are not killing and eating enough of those deer.

Should we remind you of hunting laws that permit you to kill deer in your own land just about anytime you want?

If the strawberry farmer in the article would shoot and skinout a couple of deer by that berry patch, the rest of the deer would move on.

Problem solved. Case closed. And think of the freezer full of deer steaks and burger!

-- text tapped from a virtual keyboard.

Location:Westgrove St,Raleigh,United States

Dutch say they'll use full body scanners for U.S. flights


Here's the better part of the story: The Netherlands will immediately begin using full body scanners for flights heading to the United States to prevent future terrorist attacks like the Christmas Day attempt by a young Nigerian. Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, 23, managed to board a Northwest Airlines flight to Detroit from Amsterdam's Schiphol Airport carrying explosives but failed to successfully detonate them.

Now good people, I've been in a lot of airports and watched a lot of people in those airports. They look a lot like the people you see shopping at Walmart.

You can visit that site called something like The People of Walmart for confirmation.

Pity the poor security agent who has to look at the nakidness of that assemblage of humanity. Is hazardous duty pay involved?

We can discuss the on-going loss of personal rights, civil liberties, and plain humanity when the giggles subside.

And yes, I've been through such a scanner. The emergency medical personnel were Johnny-on-the-spot to help the poor peep at the screen.

-- text tapped from a virtual keyboard.

Location:Westgrove St,Raleigh,United States

Teens: Oral Sex, Casual Prostitution No Biggie


There's a documentary to go with this. The lurid title? "Oral Sex Is the New Goodnight Kiss"

Here's a very brief description: In the documentary, "Oral Sex Is the New Goodnight Kiss," girls as young as 11 years old talk about having sex, going to sex parties and -- in some extreme situations -- crossing into prostitution by exchanging sexual favors for money, clothes or even homework and then still arriving home in time for dinner with the family.

The authors claim that parents are often surprised and, oh yes, shocked when they hear about how much sex their children are getting.

I do not doubt it.

Most parents have their heads deeper in the sand regarding the sex lives of their children than do the children regarding the sex life of their parents.

I must also admit to some surprise, that being that it's taken so long for the regular world to recognize what has been going on since there were people around for a little nookie.

I taught in the public high schools of North Carolina for the better part of my life and a day, and I am here to tell you that your children enjoy sex, some way more than others.

In my first teaching appointment in the late 70s, a ninth grader, female, was caught in the parking lot with a male teacher, not me. The teacher was dismissed. Why? Not for the nookie, but for his race. He was a black man. The student was white.

So don't be all caught by surprise when you find out that your children are sexually active, and that they have even taken that step to separate sex from love.

You might start by opening your eyes.

And by the way, this article is all about the heterosexual children. The gay peeps are not in the mix, but while we're here, let me tell you it's not that much different with the gay peeps.

Other than they worry about being killed for it.

-- text tapped from a virtual keyboard.

Location:Westgrove St,Raleigh,United States

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Giant acorn drop nears 20 years


New York drops an apple because the city is known as the Big Apple. You can watch it on TV, along with the countdown.

I doubt that I do.

Raleigh drips an acorn. WTF? An acorn. I'm pretty much native, but I've never understood the acorn thing.

Here's what there saying: "The giant acorn is never far from its Raleigh home. The other 364 days of the year it sits on permanent display in Moore Square. The artwork was created by sculptor David Benson to celebrate the city's 1992 Bicentennial and Raleigh’s nickname: “The City of Oaks.”

Raleigh is the City of Oaks? I figured that title would go to Elon.

Nonetheless, where are the freaking oaks? They are not much around where I go. We have magnolias. We have Crepe Myrtles. We have those nasty grafted flowering little trees that bloom in spring, making it look like snow in March.

The only oaks I see are the very few that have managed to survive the destruction of relatively unfettered growth.

Maybe the older parts of town have held on to the old oaks.

More likely, the ents saw the destruction coming, and they packed up and moved elsewhere to live in peace and quiet.

I know I would if given half a chance.

-- text tapped from a virtual keyboard.

Pot-stuffed teddy bear found at California toy store


California is at it again.

Here's the scoop: "The owner of Toy Town said Monday that he got the package last week, opened it up and found a 2-foot-tall blue teddy bear that felt ''hard and crinkly.'' The bear turned out to be stuffed with three large, vacuum-sealed packages of marijuana."

Do Cheech or Chong have grandchildren now? I'm thinking they might, and now a Christmas gift has gone missing.

-- text tapped from a virtual keyboard.

AT&T's New York iPhone Story Is One Comical Saga


Offers a fine cartoon that makes yesterday's PR fiasco by AT&T only slightly more tolerable.

With support from the blog of the fake Steve Jobs at


Which starts "All the big media companies are in New York. All of these guys use iPhones. So they all know, and have known for a long time, how bad AT&T’s service is in New York. Yet they’ve said nothing."

The thing is that it'd be hard to do worse that AT&T has done in the long last while with the iPhone and the data network. You'd think the PR and marketing there was being done by pet rocks or some such.

They should be smoking the competition rather than reacting and playing catch-up while offering apologia.

Of course, AT&T has been in business a long while. Has the organization become complacent, or does someone there have an ulterior motive?

-- text tapped from a virtual keyboard.

Funeral home offers drunk drivers a free burial


Visiting north Georgia over the new year holiday? Planning to drink lots of alcohol or ingest many drugs, and oh yes, drive?

Here's your sign.

Step into the McGuire, Jennings and Miller Funeral Home in Rome, Georgia, attest to the above, get yourself killed in the process of fufilling your attestation, and they will do your funeral for free.

You couldn't start the year any better than that.

-- text tapped from a virtual keyboard.

Location:Westgrove St,Raleigh,United States

Sitting in Jiffy Lube

I am about to be a lot poorer. This is the price I pay for living where little or no public transportation is available. The city gets to pay for my damage to the roads and environment.

To keep me coming back, Jiffy Lube gives me a coupon book each year. I use the coupons though I'm not sure they're all that effective at saving money.

The Jiffy Lube peeps are effective at pushing services. I manage that by coming in every 5,000 miles, not 3,000. Consumer Reports, as well as my own oil analysis, make it clear that 3,000 miles is far too early for most vehicles.

The big reason for coming in today is the oil change. They charge by the syllable. Check the name!

And the tires need rotating. Well, they already roll just fine. They just need to go on different corners to enhance the vibration of those slightly warped brake rotors.

And oh yes, the auto transmission is due.

The computer says I need to replace the cabin filter. Does it know about my farting?

However, my retired cruiser does not have a cabin filter. I guess you'll just have to roll down the window.

The fellow to go with those sneakers is not available, but he is a little nervous.

-- text tapped from a virtual keyboard.

Location:Western Blvd,Raleigh,United States

Rare New Year's Eve 'blue moon' to ring in 2010


Note: This is not an al Queda conspiracy, plot, plan, or attack.

Yes, we will have a blue moon on New Year's eve. There is nothing rare about this. We just need to have the previous full moon in very early December. Like on the 31 - 29.5 day of the month

Now, just so you know, there is geekish controversy regarding the definition of a blue moon.

Here ya go: "The popular definition of blue moon came about after a writer for Sky & Telescope magazine in 1946 misinterpreted the Maine Farmer's Almanac and labeled a blue moon as the second full moon in a month. In fact, the almanac defined a blue moon as the third full moon in a season with four full moons, not the usual three.

Though Sky & Telescope corrected the error decades later, the definition caught on. For purists, however, this New Year's Eve full moon doesn't even qualify as a blue moon. It's just the first full moon of the winter season."

Read that carefully. There will be a quiz soon.

-- text tapped from a virtual keyboard.

Location:Western Blvd,Raleigh,United States

Times Square shredder offers good riddance to 2009


So here's the buzz from the horses mouth: "Head to Times Square, where organizers of New York City’s New Year’s Eve celebration are setting up shredders on Monday. The public will be able to dump everything from pink slips to photos of old lovers."

Notice the restraint I show in quoting anything from Boston?

Now with that said, there is little that I would prefer than to shred 2009 and move on, unless I could have a do-over, and good grief, there would be a few additional blistered ears and likely some bright shining faces from the frequent slaps I'd be passing out regularly.

Yeah, 2009 is not high on my list of anything worth remembering.

-- text tapped from a virtual keyboard.

Location:Western Blvd,Raleigh,United States

Great China at Briarcreek

While fetching a something else that I cannot yet mentioned, I decided to have lunch. Now, normally that would mean Moe's, but I was feeling frisky, and I was already on the other side of the street, and I settled in at Great China.

Don't bother looking on UrbanSpoon. The restaurant is not there. If it were, I'd have placed this review and these pictures there, not here.

First off, I liked the place. We're not talking fancy. They might be able to seat a dozen people. Probably, they do more take out business.

I sat in the way back by the bathroom.

Prices are cheap, cheap, cheap. Did I mention that lunch doesn't cost much here? Think five bucks if you order from the lunch menu as I did.

I ordered fried tofu with steamed rice.

Then I realized I would likely become thirsty. That added a dollar to my bill. I picked up a bottle of water. Yes, I still have the bottle, but it's back home, and I'm at a Jiffy Lube. There will be no pick of the water.

Get over it.

I did not clean my plate, though I did eat everything that was edible by humans. What I left were the thermonuclear devices.

I have chomped one if those things by accident before. I lost all feeling in the left side of my head for some 45 minutes.

We shall not discuss the time-delayed reaction of tum.

Will I return? Oh, hell yeah. A five buck lunch? That's some mighty fine student food in my ever so humble opinion.

Go get you some. You know you want it. You probably need it too.

-- text tapped from a virtual keyboard.

Location:Western Blvd,Raleigh,United States

Ted Haggard tweets!

That's right. Our own Ted Haggard appears to be on Twitter.

Here's his latest tweet in the firm of a retweet from Tweetie.

"Honored to be asked to serve as an Overseer for a local church again. ONLY Jesus is Lord! (via @tedhaggard7)"

(Brief pause while everyone loads Ted's Twitterfeed.)

Overseer? Will he get to whip some field laborers in this position? Does he get a houseboy?

He probably already has the houseboy.

Careful here. The Twitter name is not authenticated, which means this could all be a ruse. Of course, I could think of others more interesting that Ted Haggard to impersonate on Twitter.

I believe we call that a Twitterjacking.

Of course, my name is not authenticated either.

For the time being, I have chosen to follow Ted. At some point, I'll rue that decision and cut him off. Mostly, he appears to tweet a lot of vapid quotations.

Example #1: "Laugh often" (Russert). (via @tedhaggard7)

Example #2: "I am the Alpha and the Omega - the beginning and the end, says the Lord God . . . the Almighty One" (Rev. 1:8). (via @tedhaggard7)

I can tell you're all a'flutter now. Take a minute, run over, and click that follow button. 1753 others have!

I don't mind the occassional quotation, especially when we can show that someone thought through a current problem several decades, if not centuries, ago.

Ted also received a copy of Dan Brown's The Lost Symbol for Christmas. Like me, he found it a quick, and good, read.

I might need to rethink my taste in fiction.

Meanwhile, I look forward to his tweets of encouragement to the lawmakers of Uganda.

-- text tapped from a virtual keyboard.

Location:Westgrove St,Raleigh,United States

Senegal police probe 24 men for 'homosexual activities'


Probe? Some is having fun with the headlines today.

Here's what was going on: "Officers arrested the men on December 24 at a house in the seaside resort of Saly, 80 kilometres (50 miles) south of Dakar, for allegedly engaging in homosexual acts and holding an unauthorised party, the police source said."

We had a Christmas Eve party going on in a Muslim nation.

Here's the penalty: "Homosexuality is a crime in largely Muslim Senegal and carries a jail sentence of up to five years."

Earlier: "Almost a year ago, judges there convicted nine Senegalese men of "indecent acts against nature" and membership of a criminal organisation after they were arrested at a private apartment in Dakar."

American fundies would be all over pressing legal charges for what goes on behind closed doors. Well, except that they are about as bad where sex is involved. And shrimp. And bacon. And blended fabric.

There is a ray of light from Senegal. The homo peeps charged last year were released.

The scoop: "The Senegalese court of appeal overturned the ruling last April and ordered that the nine men be released."

-- text tapped from a virtual keyboard.

Location:Westgrove St,Raleigh,United States

Rodanthe movie house sold to N.C. bail bondsman

Samo found this one.


So y'all were making a nuisance of yourselves crawling all over the falling down structure as it was trying to fall into the Atlantic.

Well, I hope you're satisfied now. And the clinic is also out of tetnus shots.

Don't come running and screaming to me when your jaws lock up.

The house has been bailed out. It will also be moved a mile back from the coast to protect it from the waves, at least until the next Rodanthe-falling hurricane.

-- text tapped from a virtual keyboard.

Location:Westgrove St,Raleigh,United States

Home360 bleach bottle open challenge

So I need to open a new jug of generic each, Home360, linen scent.

First, the black cap wants to be pushed down and turned. I suppose this is childsafe. It's also Jimsafe, at least for a while.

Now, I must lift and peel the safety seal. Do people put bad stuff in the bleach, like Tylenol, when no one's looking?

Maybe they just snitch cups full from the store?

It peels off, but not quite like I expected.

Fortunately, I still need a manicure.

Otherwise, I'd be wielding a pointy stick about now.

Finally open. Time to scrub the cooties from the bathroom.

Yes, we have company coming!

Location:Westgrove St,Raleigh,United States